well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
