I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
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In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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