Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I understand Curling. That high.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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