i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
