Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.