so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
you never un-have a 4some