You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.