At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type