I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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