he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
