I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
