i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
