my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
