Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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