A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
one might say we're banned from that church
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Mom said you looked used
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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