p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
