so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
