No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
