And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
