On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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