what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
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What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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