the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
