I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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