either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
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