Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
