I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
