so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
