i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
