I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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