why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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