Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
