Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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