I heard we made out
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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