no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
