Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
nut hugger
We're facebook friends in real life
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
