I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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