will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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