Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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