You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
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The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
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You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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