Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I checked into jail on foursquare
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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