So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
