I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
