Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
