I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
