I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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