I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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