either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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