party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
