You can't motorboat a personality
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
