New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dick very happy bro
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
