jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
