im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
