So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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