And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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