wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
