I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
