C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
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I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
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Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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