Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I want you more than these girls want KFC
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
