I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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