just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
