WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do