Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
